29 June 2026

RadMans

So, deadEarth... Such an incredible marvel of insane game design. Reading this thread, I fell in love with the idea that if you just completely reworked the main resolution mechanic, removed the sexism, reworded most of the rules so that they made a semblance of sense, replaced... Yeah, I started to hack it, because the characters that survive character generation are incredibly amusing and worthy of being played, just not in the deadEarth engine.

I have regained my sanity before getting too far, but I still have this automated character generator with a revised list of skills and no rules to accompany it. If ever a strange mood compels me to refine the nearly two thousand radiation manipulations (i.e. reality-warping mutations) into a format and content I would be happy with, I will let you know. But don't hold your breath.




22 June 2026

The Last Stand: Diceless Pseudo-Wargame

Caput Caprae has reminded me of a game we used to play with my brothers when I was about twelve years old, which could be considered an extremely rudimentary kind of wargame. Maybe. We have built many a fortress from LEGO and wanted to have a nice siege, but knew nothing about wargames. So we made our own. These are the rules reimagined from what I remember, because of course there were no written rules.


You only need LEGO blocks to play this game. I will refer to the block names from here.

Units:

  • Soldier (1x1 Brick or 1x1 Brick, Round) is the basic unit.
  • Rider is a soldier on a horse (1×2 Plate). They are better in melee.
  • Hero is a soldier with a coloured cap (1×1 Plate, Round). They get superpowers.
  • Catapult (1x2 Brick) allows you to use the Missile action.
  • Siege tower (2+ stacked 1x2 Bricks) allows soldiers to move over bulwarks.
  • Dragon (2×2 Brick) is a bit overpowered.

The rest of the blocks should be used to build forts and fortifications.

Setup:
Prepare your terrain. We usually had a carpet as the dry land, with the floor around standing for the sea. Books and boxes and whatever else you have at hand can make for nice cliffs and mountains. And of course, don't forget to prepare your LEGO castle.

Decide how many units of which kind each player will get. There were no unit prices in our game, we made up a scenario and each player would take whatever units seemed appropriate. The Last Stand actually refers to a popular scenario of ours - one player gets the castle, the other player gets a much bigger army besieging it.

On the other hand, the number of caps for heroes and mages should be about the same for all players. If you don't have enough caps for everyone to have the same choice of hero powers, then the player who will go last in turn order picks one cap, then go in reverse turn order until the desired number of caps is chosen.

The players then deploy their units at will. Once again, in a pre-made scenario, this didn't matter that much. Units cannot be attached to the bulwarks they stand on - either cover the walls in smooth tiles or put the units across the pins. We want not-so-stable, free-standing units for the Missile action.

Turns:
Determine who goes first, then players alternate turns. On your turn, take one action chosen from the following types:

  1. Missile
  2. Move & Melee
  3. Magic
Missile
You can only take a Missile action if you have a catapult on the battlefield. You also have limited ammo per turn - we played with 2 or 3 shots, I think.

Put your hand over any of your catapults, then throw a projectile. Any unit, friend or foe, that gets knocked over is killed. If a unit is knocked back but not over, it survived. Note that units that are harder to kill in melee get no such protection against missiles, and fortifications can also be knocked down by missile fire.

Our projectiles were usually 2×2 Brick or 1×3 Brick, but sometimes we also had glass marbles or bearing balls. We never did this, but you could have several kinds of siege engines with different ammo, like making a ballista by shooting a rubber band. Or use dice as missiles.

Move & Melee
Move one group of units across the battlefield. They cannot pass through enemy units, bulwarks or castle walls, or other impassable terrain. Otherwise, you are the judge of what counts as "too far to move in a single turn". Forts and fortifications should have some access point that you can conquer. Or you can move a siege tower next to a wall, then on your next turn move your units inside. Riders and catapults, however, cannot use siege towers.

Castle gates, by the way, can only be destroyed by missile fire (don't attach the gate firmly), a Shatter spell, or by a hero with Might. We didn't use any battering rams.

When (groups of) units end up adjacent, a melee ensues. Sum up the number of kills each side achieves, then remove that many units - the resolution is simultaneous and the sides can achieve mutual wipe out.

  • Each soldier causes one kill.
  • Each rider kills two and takes two hits to kill. One hit alone does not cause them lasting harm.
  • Heroes cause [1 + number of caps] kills and take the same number of simultaneous hits to kill. This can be further modified by their powers.
  • Dragons are a bit of a special case, see below.
  • Catapults and siege towers cannot attack in melee, and get "killed" in a single hit.
For example, Alice moved 2 riders and 8 soldiers next to Bob's group of 10 soldiers and a catapult. Alice gets 12 kills, Bob gets 10 kills. Bob's group is completely wiped out, while Alice keeps 1 rider.

The active player decides which units from a group (both their own and enemy) are killed, but should start from the closest units. Especially if a group of soldiers is guarding a hero or a siege tower, you cannot kill the protected unit before removing its guardians.

Magic
You can cast one spell per action by removing one cap from any of your heroes. This may cause them to become a normal soldier.

  • Berserk: The hero's group deals double damage until the end of your next turn.
  • Protection: The hero's group cannot be harmed until the start of your next turn. If the units are knocked down by a missile, they must be restored to their original positions.
  • Curse: Choose a player to curse. If the cursed player wants to use a Missile action on their next turn, they have to do so blind.
  • Brambles: Choose a player; their units cannot Move & Melee on their next turn.
  • Fear: Move an enemy group of units.
  • Construct: Build and place a new structure somewhere near the hero. For example, a ramp to the castle walls.
  • Shatter: Remove (a part of) a structure.
  • Summon: Deploy a new group of units. The group is placed around the hero. You may not add more units than you had at the start of the game, so either you have kept some in reserve, or you are summoning the reanimated bodies of your dead soldiers.

Heroes:
Heroes get superpowers (in addition to the Magic action), denoted by the colour or shape of their cap.

  • Might: Counts as a catapult and may destroy structures by attacking them.
  • Shield: Cannot be killed by missiles or magic. If the unit is knocked down by a missile, it must be restored to its original position.
  • Immortal: When killed, remove one of their caps and re-deploy them at the end of your next turn.
  • Assassin: Can scale walls and terrain, so can Move pretty much anywhere on the table.

By the way, you can put a hero on horseback for that extra bit of power.

You can also make fun hero combination like an immortal assassin - move them behind enemy lines to kill a valuable unit in melee, and though as a lone unit they will be killed, they will just come back for another assassination.

Dragons:
Dragons are like heroes on magical steroids. They can fly (as Assassin) and use fire breath (as Might). They also kill 10 units in melee and have to be hit by 10 units simultaneously to die*. They can also be ridden by a hero.

*) I think. I don't remember the exact number, but it was something like this.
 

The Square Kingdom of South America prepares for battle...
 
...with the hundred heroes of the Round Realm...
  
...who serve the accursed Skull Titan...
 
...while the immortal Dragon Queen of Africa
watches from afar, ready to pounce on the weakened winner.


15 June 2026

The Orb of Wishing

This might be one of the most fun magic items I have ever given to my players:

A larger crystal orb (1 Slot) that glows with strong inner light.
When you first touch the orb, you are flooded by strange visions that paralyse you until you succeed on a Will save. Once you pass, you gain control of the orb and may channel a sliver of its power - you have three wishes. It is not possible to wish alternatingly; once somebody else gains control of the orb, you lose any of your remaining wishes and may never again control the orb.
Zuran Orb from MtG
 
So far, the players have wished to:
  1. Destroy the orb's guardian, averting a looming TPK.
  2. Cure 50 years of unnatural ageing.
  3. Regrow both hands of one unlucky companion.
  4. Be cured of all ills. (Said character was severely injured and double-cursed.)
  5. Become rich. (Wish pending completion, wait for the next session.)
  6. Be young forever.
  7. Grant human speech to their dog companion.
  8. Resurrect a long-dead scientist for his lost knowledge.
  9. Cure a fatal anaphylactic shock. (On the same character who had previously lost both of his hands...)

These wishes are in no way a monkey's paw. They follow the spirit of the request and sometimes even go a bit further, when the wording of the wish would needlessly weaken its beneficial effect. And yet my players are already paranoid, carefully planning on what to do with their effectively unlimited wishes. But are they truly unlimited? Who can they trust with the power of the orb, once everyone in the party has had their wishes granted? How can they compel anybody to wish for them? What if a word gets out? The schemes are piling up and up and up.

I must thank Skerples and Archon for the idea of giving the players a campaign-wrecking item early on and letting them loose. It is working gloriously.