24 September 2018

Polearm Emporium

There is a small shop in Caipi-Taal, in a backalley where the Black Street (known for its blacksmith workshops) meets the Moonward Street (which runs from the northern gate to the Cathedral of Authority). It is known as the Polearm Emporium and carries the widest selection of a certain type of weapons. Can you guess what type of weapons this shop offers?

d100 Polearms
  1. aklys
  2. angon
  3. arbir
  4. assegai
  5. awl-pike (aka ahlspeiss)
  6. bambu runcing
  7. bardiche
  8. barcha
  9. baston
  10. bec-de-corbin
  11. bident
  12. bill hook
  13. bisento
  14. bohemian ear-spoon (aka sudlice)
  15. brandistock
  16. broad spear (aka bear spear or boar spear)
  17. carseque
  18. dangpa
  19. djerid
  20. doloire
  21. falx
  22. fangtian ji
  23. fauchard
  24. ge (aka dagger-axe)
  25. gichang
  26. glaive
  27. goedendag
  28. great lance
  29. great pike
  30. great scythe
  31. guandao
  32. (bill-)guisarme
  33. halberd
  34. half-pike
  35. hanbo
  36. harpoon
  37. hasta
  38. hoeroa
  39. hoko yari
  40. hooked spear
  41. horseman's pick
  42. hu cha
  43. hyeopdo
  44. jangchang
  45. javelin
  46. kama yari
  47. khakkhara
  48. kontos
  49. langxian
  50. leister
  51. light lance
  52. lochaber axe
  53. long spear
  54. lucern hammer
  55. man-catcher
  56. menaulion
  57. military fork
  58. monk's spade
  59. naginata
  60. ox-tongue spear
  61. partisan
  62. phalarica
  63. pilum
  64. pitchfork
  65. plommée
  66. podao
  67. pole cleaver
  68. pole hammer
  69. pole mace
  70. pollax
  71. qiang
  72. qinglong ji
  73. quarterstaff
  74. ranseur
  75. rhomphaia
  76. saintie
  77. sarissa
  78. sasumata
  79. shepherd's axe
  80. short spear
  81. sibat
  82. siege hook
  83. sodegarami
  84. sovnya
  85. spetum
  86. spontoon
  87. sword-staff
  88. taiaha
  89. tao
  90. tepoztopilli
  91. tewhatewha
  92. trident
  93. trishula
  94. tsukubo
  95. two-section staff
  96. voulge
  97. war scythe
  98. welsh hook
  99. winged spear
  100. woldo

Long spear,
short spear
and javelins.

Pole mace is basically a morningstar on a very long pole.
Similarly, pole hammer is a long war hammer used against
riders, and looks a bit like lucern hammer.
Only pay attention to the right half of the picture.

Fangtian ji, also known as a half moon spear.

This is a war scythe...

...and this is a great scythe.

From the top: three taiahas, hoeroa, tewhatewha and a club.

Naginata, yari and arbir.

Bohemian ear-spoon.

Siege hook.

Bambu runcing is a simple hunting spear made of bamboo.

A selection of European polearms.

Quite obviously inspired by this Order of the Stick strip. But this emporium actually has weapons to sell. And while all the weapons will probably have pretty much the same stats, the players can buy a polearm with a cool sounding name here.

22 September 2018


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14 September 2018

Gateways to the Spirit Realm

There are two worlds overlaying each other, just an eye blink apart. Reality and the spirit world. Your mind wanders the spirit realm when you sleep and dream, but you can also cross the border between worlds corporeally, if you find the right place. Such a place is called a Gateway, and every Gateway has its Key - a password, a ritual, a price to pay.

Gateways are rather few and far between, but not rare enough to pose a problem for determined party. Note however that many movable Gateways will be in private collections of wizards or eccentric nobles, while some immovable Gateways might be guarded. There should be no widely known Gateways, as that robs them of their mystery.

Overusing a Gateway might be noticed on both sides: Maybe a king will want to prevent a Wild Hunt incursion, or will demand the Gateway for himself to scour the spirit world for valuables. Maybe some Folk will come to destroy the Gateway and prevent the influx of nuisances from the real world, of they will bring an army to start a Wild Hunt. It's just better to remain unseen.
by Bo Sibbern-Larsen

d20 Gateways and their Keys
  1. A full-length mirror. Stare at your reflection until it blinks and extends its hand towards you, then take its hand and walk through. You must give your reflection a single item of personal significance in payment.
  2. A fairy ring of mushrooms in the deep woods. Eat a mushroom and wait for the fairies. They will show you way through the ring to the other side, for a small price. A tooth or a finger segment should be enough.
  3. A circle of ancient stones. Cut your hand and smear each of the standing stones with 1 hp worth of your blood. Once you have completed the full circle, you will be in the spirit world.
  4. A dolmen creating a crude stone door. Meditate there in the night until you hear the voice of the ancient shaman buried there as a guide. He will lead you through once you pay the toll of [your HD] gp.
  5. A ley line crossing, the flow of magic raising your hair. Any creature with wizard vision will see the way and can pass through by burning a MD. Other creatures will need a caster to lead them and pay the price.
  6. A forgotten place in a large city. Get drunk with a specific, expensive liquor and wander the back alleys until you pass out. You will wake up in the spirit realm.
  7. A broken door in a ruined building. Give up a happy memory and they will open for you.
  8. Deep in a cave, put out the light and scream until the darkness responds. It wants fresh meat and blood for the passage of a whole group - a hireling or an animal will be enough.
  9. A beautiful wardrobe. Draw apart the clothes inside and step in with eyes closed. You will step out into the spirit world, but aged 1d6 years.
  10. An ancient tree, its branches festooned with poppets and fetishes. Create a fetish from twigs and hang it on the tree, then walk three times counterclockwise around the tree and you will find yourself in the spirit realm. However, sooner or later someone will present you with your fetish and ask you for a favour you cannot refuse.
  11. A rabbit hole. You will first have to catch the magical rabbit who can take you down this hole, and he hates people. Persuade, intimidate, or bribe him.
  12. An dry well lost in the middle of nowhere. Climb down and haggle with the monster that lives there. It likes stories, so either bring it a book, or tell it a tale interesting enough that it will show you the way. Boring stories will make it eat you.
  13. Follow a barely noticeable forest trail until you find an old crone sitting on a tree stump. She can guide you to the spirit world, but she'll want to guard your soul while you are on the other side. If you agree, you will gain no XP until you return to the crone and let her take you back to the real world. She actually keeps her word and will return your soul.
  14. Bake a pie from white flour, butter, apples and your semen or menstrual blood. Once you sit down to eat it, a stranger will ask you to share a piece. Eat the pie with them (it can be both a man and a woman, roll randomly), then have sex with them, and you will wake up in the spirit world.
  15. Smoke dreamweed. While this is one of the easiest Gateways to get through, you will instantly return back to the real world once the intoxication runs out. A dosage will give you only 1d6 hours in the spirit world and if you take another in less than a day, Save or fall into a coma from an overdose, permanently lost in the spirit realm.
  16. A quiet corner of a library. Take a look at the books, there will be one specifically for you. Put any magic scroll between its pages, then read. Once you get completely absorbed in the story, the scroll will disappear and you will be in the spirit realm.
  17. Whisper a short incantation into a rainstorm, then wait. A large, black coach will soon arrive, pulled by four headless horses and accompanied by thunder. If you have recently broken an oath or a promise, you can enter the coach and be taken to the spirit realm. Otherwise, it will just speed past you.
  18. A decrepit statue in a silent garden or a small graveyard. Stare at it until your eyes start to tear up, then blink. By the time your eyes open again, you will be in the spirit world, and the statue will have taken its toll - 1d4 points of a random attribute (those will return as any attribute damage).
  19. A key without door, a minor artifact you can find. Unlocks any door but doesn't lead to the other side of the door, but the other side of reality. Don't forget to take it with you before you close the door, or you will be stuck in the spirit realm without an easy way to return.
  20. Astral projection, just get a wizard to cast it for you. Easy as that.
Finally, you can always go deep underground, deeper than any normal cave. Once you have reached the Veins of the Earth, the veil between Reality and the spirit world will be frayed enough that ghosts will walk among men.

by Eytan Zana

6 September 2018

Fantasy Jokes

What did the elf tell the dwarf when they walked into a bar? That she has d50 jokes ready for him!

d50 Fantasy Jokes
  1. What kind of bread do dwarves make? Well, short bread, of course.
  2. Kobolds are a living proof that the gods have a sense of humour.
  3. Did you hear about that wizard who was arrested for drunk-casting? He had his magic license evoked!
  4. What has two legs and bleeds? Half a goblin.
  5. What's nine feet long, has six legs, and flies? Three dead halflings!
  6. Once, an orc told me that a thought crossed his mind. It must have been a long and lonely journey.
  7. Why do dragons sleep all day? So they can fight knights.
  8. How do you escape from a dwarf? Step on a chair.
  9. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the guts.
  10. A skeleton walks into a bar... and orders a beer and a mop.
  11. What's the difference between a slave and a bench? A bench can support a family.
  12. What do you call a knight who is too afraid to fight? Sir Render.
  13. It's not that I don't like kobolds. It's just that I can't finish a whole one.
  14. Why should you never ask a dwarf to pay for drinks? Because he's always a little short.
  15. A sage was once asked by an orc general what did he think about orcish civilization. The sage replied: "Yes, that would be a great idea."
  16. A woman comes home to find her husband in bed with a female halfling. She screams at him: "You said you wouldn't cheat on me anymore!" He replies: "I know. Can't you see I'm trying to cut it down?"
  17. Why do dwarven bards sound better by candlelight? You can shove the wax in your ears.
  18. What is the difference between an orcish bard and an anchor? You tie a rope to an anchor before you throw it overboard.
  19. An elf, a man and a dwarf order an ale, but there is a fly in each tankard. When the elf notices it, he pours his ale out in disgust. The man picks the fly out and drinks the ale. The dwarf picks the fly out, holds it legs-up and shouts: "Spit it back, ye' li'l blight!"
  20. A blind elf walks into a bar, sits down and says: "Do you want to hear a dwarf joke?" A voice beside him growls: "Before you tell a dwarf joke, know that the bartender is a dwarf, the guard is a dwarf, I am a dwarf and my two companions are dwarves. Do you still want to tell your joke?!" The blind elf thinks for a moment and then replies: "No, not if I have to explain it five times."
  21. If ugly was a crime the entire orcish race would have rotted in the dungeons long ago. Oh, wait a minute...
  22. An orc, a barbarian and a blood-thirsty savage entered a bar... and that was just the first person!
  23. What do you call an orc with half a brain? Gifted.
  24. Two orc hunters went bear hunting. They came upon a fork in a road where a sign read 'BEAR LEFT'. And so they went home. And do you know what's the funny part? That any orc could read!
  25. How do orcs name their children? They throw them down the stairs and wait what noise they make.
  26. In a battle of wits, an orc is unarmed, blind and lame.
  27. How many kobolds do you need to paint a room? Only one if you throw him really hard.
  28. An orc walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. Impressed by such a strange sight the barkeep says: "An incredible beast, can he talk?" To which the parrot responds: "Barely."
  29. Two dwarves walk out of a bar before closing time and... Hey, it could happen!
  30. What did the human say when he walked into a dwarf bar? "Argh, my head!"
  31. What do you call an elf that can count past ten? Barefoot.
  32. Why are rogues so sneaky? Because their armour is literally made of hide.
  33. I once knew a rogue who was so greedy that she picked her own pockets.
  34. Did you hear about that knight who fell from the tallest tower in the castle and lived? They called him Sir Vive.
  35. What do you call a group of witches in a hot spring? A self-cleaning coven.
  36. An elf, a man and an orc walk into a bar. The dwarf walks under it.
  37. Why was the wizard late for work? He was up all night playing with his staff.
  38. It's true that orcs sleep with horses. Once you've seen their women, you'll know why.
  39. How do you call a magic crystal that captures your soul for all eternity? A maximum security prism.
  40. Why did the party die and only the bug collector survived? Because they ran into a bee-holder.
  41. Who was the first knight of the Round Table? Sir Cumference.
  42. I could tell you an anecdote about Tiamat, but it's so long it would really drag-on.
  43. How many witches does it take to replace a candle? Just one, witches burn great.
  44. What do you call an adventurer running towards you in the dungeon?  Don't call them anything, get running too!
  45. Better keep your mage safe from attacks, or they'll be a sore-cerer.
  46. Why can't a fallen paladin walk straight? He's out of alignment.
  47. Why do liches and vampires speak in riddles? They're crypt-ic.
  48. What did the orc say when his wife left him? Where's my axe?
  49. What do you call a halfling fortune-teller who escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
  50. What do you say to an angry transmuter? Ribbit!

by DancingSoldier

5 September 2018

d8 Magic Clubs

There are way too many magical swords, so this time we'll have a look on magical clubs. I mean, a cudgel is one of the most simple and numerous weapons around, so there must be some that are magic!

It's a kind of magic!

d8 Magic Clubs:
  1. Beast Bludgeon
  2. Cudgel in a Sack
  3. Limb of the Black Tree
  4. Love Stick
  5. Plum Tree Club
  6. Rain God's Walking Stick
  7. Wanderer's Baton
  8. Zombie Hand

A club.

Beast Bludgeon

A large tree branch (treat as a heavy weapon) with an old, horned skull nailed to its top. It once belonged to a wild man who plagued the Vindale Forest with his brutal crimes. He was eventually hunted down and killed, but his weapon was lost.

Every time you kill a natural animal, you may trap its soul in the bludgeon. The bludgeon can store up to three souls and starts with one random animal soul. You may release the trapped souls freely. You may use a soul to cast beast's sense or beast's grace (see below). This expends the soul and casts the spell with MD equal to the target animal's HD. These "fake MD" do not return to you, but they may generate a Mishap if you roll a double. Triples (or more) count simply as doubles.

Beast's Sense
R: self; T: [dice] senses; D: [sum] hours

Gain [dice] senses of the target animal.

For example, you might gain wolf's scent, owl's night vision, cat's wizard vision, bat's echolocation, or snake's air-tasting.

Beast's Grace
R: self; T: [dice] movement powers; D: [sum] hours

Gain [dice] movement powers of the target animal. The GM will rule whether this will be a special ability, or a simple bonus to certain rolls.

For example, you might gain hare's jump, cat's climbing or stealth, snake's quick reflexes, or otter's swimming. You may not gain a movement power you don't have the required body plan for, ie. you can't get flight of a bird unless you already have wings.

  1. All stored souls are released.
  2. You take 1d6 damage as wounds from claws, bites, pecks etc. appear on your body.
  3. Random mutation for 1d6 rounds, then Save. Permanent if you fail. Animal-based mutations are preferable.
  4. Random insanity for 1d6 rounds, then Save. Permanent if you fail. Animal-based insanities are preferable.
  5. You can "speak" only in animal sounds for 1d6 hours.
  6. You polymorph into the target animal instead. Lasts for 24 hours.

Another club.

Cudgel in a Sack

Once upon a time, there lived three brothers who each acquired an item of wondrous power. The first one had a table imbued with create food and water and established a successful tavern, living a peaceful life. The second one had a donkey who could conjure gold and became a moneylender, until he was arrested, tried and executed for counterfeiting. The third one had a sack and a cudgel in it. The rumours about his ultimate fate vary, but you now hold his magical cudgel in a sack in your hands.

When you open the sack, the cudgel flies out and behaves similarly to a dancing weapon. It doesn't act on its own, though. Instead, you can use an action to move it or attack with it as you please. It has a fly speed equal to your Movement, but cannot move farther than 50' from you. It attacks as if you were wielding it.

One more club.

Limb of the Black Tree

This club is splintered and burnt, taken from a tree set aflame by lightning.

You can store a single fire- or electricity-based attack in the club, completely negating it. You may then release it later at any target you wish.

For example, you could catch a fireball from an evil wizard in your club, and later throw it at a group of goblins. Or stick you club into a campfire to instantly extinguish it, and later set someone you hit aflame.

A cudgel, for a change.

Love Stick

A short, gnarled club (treat as a light weapon) covered in crude, vulgar symbols and drawings.

A fair warning: Don't use this weapon unless you know your gaming group. I have a dark sense of humour, but many people do not share it.

Once per day when you hit with the love stick, you can have the victim be affected by charm person. Instead of viewing you as their best friend, though, they will see you as the love of their life.

They would do nearly anything for you, and while they may (feebly) oppose you, they are unable to place any blame on you. No matter how despicable your actions are, or much you harm them physically or emotionally, they will rationalise it as being their own fault, or for their own good, or at worst a forgivable mistake you couldn't avoid. Thus, not even attacking them breaks the spell.

The effect lasts for a day, but if you use the love stick on them again before the effect expires, they receive no Save to resist the prolongation. However, once the spell ends, they will remember everything and behave accordingly.

A stone club.

Plum Tree Club

There was an infamous serial killer in Tam Ruat, who lured foreigners to her house, poisoned them and then buried them in her plum orchard. It took many years to discover her crimes and by then eighty seven skeletons were unearthed among the trees. She was drawn and quartered. Only the gods know who decided to make a greatclub out of one of the plum trees from that accursed orchard.

Anyone struck by this gnarled greatclub (treat as a heavy weapon) must Save or be stunned for 1d4 rounds as they vomit plum stones. No one can be affected by this power more than once per day, no matter if their Save was successful or not.

Additionally, once per day when you kill someone with the club, they are transformed into a midget plum tree and immediately grow [their HD] rations worth of plums.

Wait, this looks more like a morningstar...

Rain God's Walking Stick

This quarterstaff has several dozen blue beads on short strings tied to its top. As you walk with it, the beads constantly rattle against the wood, reminiscent of the sound of raindrops. The story goes that it once belonged to a minor god of rain and a sliver of her power remained in the staff after she died in the War in Heavens.

Every morning, as long as the weather is not some form of a rain or storm (or snow in the winter), reroll the weather for the hex (or location) the walking stick is in (keeping the result even if it is still not a rain).

The walking stick stores 1 MD which the wielder can use to cast control wind. The MD is spent as normal on 4-6, and you can cast the spell over and over again as long as the MD remains unspent. The MD refreshes every morning.

A gnarled club.

Wanderer's Baton

This short club bears the sigil of the royal family of K'lach. Long ago, it belonged to the emperor W'park the Wonderful, known for his penchant for expeditions, and his eccentricity. How the baton ended where you found it is anyone's guess, but W'park most likely just lost it during his travels.

The baton is normally the size of a short club, but its wielder can change its size at will, from a toothpick to a ten foot pole. The baton is also virtually indestructible and when extending, has enough strength to crack stone or bend iron.

A spiked club.

Zombie Hand

A severed arm of a zombie, fashioned into a macabre club. It bears a tattoo saying: "Omnia mutantur nihil interit." It also smells pretty bad.

Once per day when you hit with the zombie hand, you can release your hold to have it animate and start choking the victim (1d6 damage per round). The zombie hand de-animates once the victim is dead, it is ripped off the victim's throat, or you grab it again.

So many clubs!

Magic Items Consolidated