The adventurers encounter the goblins for the second time and have to flee again, so they go and pick a fight with a statue.
Dramatis personae:
- Gour-Gash, a goliath barbarian. Strong of muscle, weak of head. Collector of various weapons.
- Trollin, a hill dwarf cleric. A red-robed inquisitor who curiously surrounds himself with outlanders and strange types. Definitely has a hidden agenda.
- Yanzar, a dark elf druid. Very sneaky, except he loves loud, thunderous spells.
Followers:
- Janek, a linkboy. The son of a local innkeeper who will be mightily cross is he learns where the adventurers took his child.
- Schmee, a goblin famulus. A little cowardly. Likes bonsai trees and tea.
- magister Kryštof Harant, an alchemist and archeologist. Very easily distracted with any historical artifacts. Or strange creatures. Or herbs of any kind. Or nice-looking pebbles.
If any of the players have by sheer chance found this recap, do not read any further, please.
 |
| Goblin Archer by Paul Abrams |
Yanzar had a mission. He had a quest. His quest, indeed, was of utmost importance. He had to do his best to find the secret lair of the black druids, a cabal that his teacher and friend Belfinas had long been hunting down.
Unfortunately, that lair could be anywhere in the Trollish Mountains, so their little circle of druids has decided to split and cover as much ground as possible individually. Even more unfortunately, this meant that now that Yanzar found a hidey-hole with clear signs of someone regularly using it to slip in and out of some underground area, he had to investigate.
He sighed.
He climbed in.
After a short and clastrophobic squeeze through the gaps between massive tree roots, he emerged between broken stone blocks of some ancient structure. A stairwell descended deeper into the hill. Though torchless, Yanzar had no fear, for his dark-elven eyes would serve him well until even the very last sliver of light disappears. He made his way down the stairs and then down the following corridor. A faint glow could be seen ahead.
The corridor suddenly ended, caved-in a long time ago, but the ground gave way too and a muddy, rocky slope went down to a long, mud-filled cavern from where the weak phosphorescence emanated. Fungi of all kinds and shapes were filling the cave, some that even Yanzar as a druid didn't recognize. He slid down the slope and jumped from one rock to the next, easily crossing the cavern clean-footed. At this other end, the main part of the cave took a sharp upturn and a small tunnel split from it, going eastwards. But before he could investigate further, Yanzar had to hide in the shadow of a large boulder, for a gaggle of goblins started to pour out of the tunnel, squabbling and cackling and stinking.
Yanzar gripped his scimitar, but the goblins seemed oblivious to his presence. Then, a terrifying voice boomed out from behind him, startling him and sending the goblins to a panicked scramble.
***
From the diary of Trollin, 25th day of Harvest, 198 Aureum Diem
Facing the puckered, goblinish faces peering at us, I didn't hesitate. Making a simple thaumaturgical gesture, I yelled at the goblins in the cave below, my eyes flashing and my voice booming. They were immediately spooked and ran off, further into the darkness. Little cowards.
Our group carefully made it down the muddy ramp where the corridor collapsed into the cave below, to the edge of the thick mud covering the entire cave floor. All manner of mushrooms and molds were growing there, some even glowing slightly. I sent Janek to scout ahead, to find a safe path to the other side. He quickly clambered over the rock outcroppings and boulders littering the cavern, stopping at a particularly large boulder near the southern end of the cave, where it branched into a tunnel disappearing east and a rocky slope going up to another cavernous hall. He waved his torch to give us a signal to follow him, when all of a sudden some stranger emerged from the shadows behind him and put a saber to his throat.
Janek was frozen with fear, but Gour-Gash leapt to action and threatened the stranger with unspeakable cruelties should he do any harm to Janek. In a quick verbal showdown, we learned the name of the stranger - Yanzar. He apparently came across the back entrance that we've just investigated. There wasn't much time for further chit-chat, though, because goblins appeared atop the rocky slope, led by a rather capable-looking commander. The little goblins were once again armed with nothing but some silver forks and knives, but their commander was in ramshackle armor with a bow ready in hand.
We exchanged a few choice words, but the whole situation inevitably resulted in a fight. "Face your death!" the commander screamed. While Gour-Gash rushed towards the commander and was overwhelmed by a group of goblins, Yanzar began to conjure up a remarkable magic. Various vines and thorny brambles began to slide out from the ground, not only slowing down the oncoming goblins, but even trapping some of them and breaking their charge. In the meantime, Janek retreated back to me but still managed to fire his sling, while Schmee of course was getting ready to run.
The goblin commander decided to retreat to a safe distance from the menacing Gour-Gash, but not before Gour-Gash landed a crushing blow to his shoulder. The rest of the goblin horde then completely blocked his path, though, and forced him to retreat with a fork stuck in his forehead. Yanzar, on the other hand, got stabbed under the ribs with a sharpened spoon and fainted from the pain and blood loss*. His magical roots and vines immediately began to dry up and break, releasing the restrained goblins. I ordered Janek to drag Yanzar to safety while I myself went to help Gour-Gash, who was having a lot of fun smashing the goblins' heads against each other, but got quite wounded in the process. I sent him back to the others and tried to cover the retreat of them all.
Amazingly, Yanzar required no help. Though bloodied and cursing under his breath, he staggered to his feet and limped back to where we came from. I have no idea where Schmee got the courage to crawl up to the front line, but out of nowhere he tried to pull magister's alchemical satchel we had just found off my shoulder. I backhanded him into the mud at first, but when he started sputtering something about magic potions inside the satchel, I relented and he started rummaging through it, wide eyed and panicky.
And so there I stand, alone against massive odds. When I wasn't deflecting the commander's arrows or dodging goblin attacks, I turned my head and saw Yanzar and Gour-Gash sitting in the safety of the end of the collapsed corridor, eating something that Yanzar called "good berries". Or gooseberries? Anyway, all that was missing from the scenery was a checkered blanket and a basket with a bottle of wine and some foreign cheeses. I shook my head and was brought back to reality by a fork thrown by one of the goblins that got stuck in my shield. I plucked it out and threw it back to the original owner, catching him in the eye, then Janek took down another one with a hit in the balls. Schmee finally found something useful, taking out a tiny bottle and throwing it towards the goblin commander. On impact, thick smoke started to fill the cavern, shielding us from the goblins. We took our chance and began to retreat.
But before we got away, the goblin commander emerged from the smoke and mocked our supposed cowardice. "Face your death with dignity, you sun-dwelling scum." I had no choice but to challenge that bastard to a duel. One on one, to the death, tomorrow, in the basilisk hall. He seemed immensely pleased and retreated with his henchmen deeper into the caves.
On the way out of the tomb, Gour-Gash procured a new spear from a hidden room we found previously and Janek was literally enchanted by Yanzar being an elf like the ones from his grandma's tales. Magister Harant was already waiting for us in the inn. He was very grateful that his bag was returned and paid back my gold. Good. In exchange for a basilisk claw, Gour-Gash arranged to be taught literacy.
Then we drank.
***
From the diary of Trollin, 26th day of Harvest, 198 Aureum Diem
In the morning, the magister greeted us with two healing potions as a reward for saving his hide and a request that he would accompany us today. We breakfasted and went to the tomb, but hadn't been underground for more than five minutes and the magister had already managed to crack a statue and douse himself with poison gas. He might turn out to be just another dead weight that we have to lug around.
We returned to the octagonal room and glimpsed an unknown figure slipping away to the room with the petrified people. I took a quick look but found nobody, so I stood guard while magister Harant and Schmee were doing their thing with all the statues and frescoes. Gour-Gash and Yanzar decided to explore the other door left ajar, but with a click, the staircase turned into a slide and they disappeared into the darkness. When I called down to them, though, they claimed to be perfectly fine, so I let them be and thought about the fight that awaits me instead.
I was snapped out of my musings by a thunderous echo that came from the stone slide. The sounds of heavy fighting were coming from there, now. I instructed Janek to take the magister back to the inn and jumped to my companions' rescue. I slid down and emerged into a massive, vaulted room decorated with countless shields. Yanzar and Gour-Gash were fighting with a huge snake guard statue, but before I could do anything, the fight was over and the statue kneeled down, resting its spear on the ground.
But Gour-Gash got carried away and kicked the motionless statue, which brought it back to life. He managed to steal the statue's spear, but then it knocked him down and backhanded Yanzar so strongly he flew halfway across the room*. I tried to burn it with sacred flame and it launched itself high in the air, crashing onto me and pounding me into the ground. But Yanzar and Gour-Gash had my back and distracted the statue for the moment I needed to crawl away. The rest of the fight was a whirl of shields being magically pulled from the walls and slamming into us, the statue flipping and backflipping around like crazy, until finally, with the help of the Sun Lord, I managed to melt the statue into a puddle of slag.
GM Commentary
Yanzar was reduced to 0 hp twice this session (*), but made his death save both times.
